If you struggle with anxiety, you’re not alone. It’s rampant. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States, ages 18 and older, every year. Although anxiety is highly treatable, only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment.¹
One of the biggest misconceptions about anxiety is that it’s interchangeable with worry. Not so. Anxiety is an emotion. Worrying is a thought process. Anxiety is a normal reaction to feeling out of control. Worrying is a coping strategy, albeit an ineffective one. Anxiety is unavoidable. Worrying is a choice.
It saddens me that so many struggle with incessant worrying, interfering with sleep, disrupting their productivity, making them depressed. It’s so unnecessary! You probably don’t believe me. You probably think I’m selling you “a bill of goods.” But I have conquered worrying and teach others everyday how to do the same.
You may have heard of the “fight or flight” response. The sensation you know as anxiety is your body revving up to protect you from a threatening situation. Yes, it’s uncomfortable, but so is touching a hot stove. It’s there for a reason. It’s how most people cope with anxiety that is problematic.
Anytime we feel out of control, we experience anxiety. This is particularly true when we’re emotionally invested in the outcome. For example, if you’re going on a job interview, you would likely feel anxious about making a good impression. If you start getting severe headaches, you would likely feel anxious until you got answers from your doctor. If you’re going on a first date, you would likely feel anxious until you got past the awkward introductions.
Through my years of practice, I have found anxiety is the result of three fears: harm to self or a loved one; rejection; and failure. Most people worry because they mistakenly believe it gives them some measure of control. By anticipating the worst, they are more likely to avoid it and less likely to be disappointed. But if you lay in bed worrying all night what are you accomplishing? You’re not doing anything to fix the problem.
In order to avoid whatever you’re anxious about, you have to identify what’s in your control and then follow through. Once you’ve done everything in your control, worrying serves no productive purpose but to make you miserable.
Furthermore, when we worry, we’re either anticipating something bad happening or rehashing something that’s already happened. In other words, our minds are preoccupied and not focused on what we’re doing in the moment. So not only is worrying a waste of energy, it also undermines our happiness. You cant be happy if you cant be present!
(This is an excerpt from a book I’m writing: Mantras for Managing Anxiety. Let me know what you think!)
¹ Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Facts& Statistics https://adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics